he thought i was a dude.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
