you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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