Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
