My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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