Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
