so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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