Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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