his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
