I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you had me at cake vodka
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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