waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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