Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize