please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
there's paper in my vomit.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
