These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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