whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
