Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
