my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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