Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I believe in your delicious
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