I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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