8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
