My cat gives me a boner
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
