Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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