So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it's like iHOP with fire
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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