worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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