I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
