Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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