dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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