so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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