um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
