Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
