meet me or not, i'm out of control
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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