Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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