Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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