Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The beer is more important than you right now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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