You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
