It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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