I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
