it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
