forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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