never play flip cup with pint glasses
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
