This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
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my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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