none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
