I'm drive I can fine osifer
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
