Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You're earring is so big in my mouth
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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