you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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