Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
