I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
