God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
