if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He shit in the fireplace
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
