a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
