I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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