Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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