she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How's work?
Spinning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
