I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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