Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
