hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
