fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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