I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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