Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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