Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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