my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize