Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
