in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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